Exploring the Scottish Highlands with the Evil Clowns

Craig, Sal and the evil clowns set off from Edinburgh on an adventure in the Scottish Highlands. At first we were given a van with pretty flowers on it, but it leaked all over the forecourt when we tried to fill it up with petrol. So pretty flowers gave way to evil clowns. Every time we passed any kids we got a reaction – some screaming, some laughing!

This was the first time we’ve been in a campervan and we really enjoyed the experience. It gave us the freedom to get off the beaten track and do things at our own pace. The highlands are really well suited to driving – we were constantly pulling over to look at the view or check out little side roads.

Our route took us north from Edinburgh, past Inverness up to Lairg. We then crossed to the west coast and wound our way south along the coast to the Isle of Skye. From Skye, we returned to Edinburgh via Sterling, to see Stirling Castle. The green pointers are roughly where we camped each night.

Once we got past Inverness, the roads got smaller and the wilderness got wilder. Our trip took us through a huge variety of landscapes – rolling hills, valleys and lochs, dry tundra, rugged cliffs, beaches, forests and castles. We also passed through tiny villages and settlements on our way. The highlands had some of the most beautiful landscapes we’ve ever seen.

Some of our favourite scenery was at the northern most reaches of our route. Scotland has designated this area as the North West Highlands Geopark – like a national park but for protecting geologically significant areas. We stopped in a settlement within the geopark and took a short walk up to a nearby monument to take in the views of the loch and surrounding cliffs. When we reached the crest of the hill, Craig spotted a deer staring straight at us, about 10 metres away. The deer bolted through the deep bracken, and as we watched we spotted several more deer with him. They relaxed once they got a bit further away from us and we were able to sit there for a while watching them bathe in nearby mud pools.

Elsewhere on our travels we saw jumping salmon, plenty of birdlife, an ex-badger, sheep (which made us think of home) and some awesome highland cattle. Many smaller roads went right through farmland, so we would often come across grazing animals on the road.

Many of these smaller roads were also “single track roads” meaning they had a single paved traffic land with small passing bays every hundred metres or so. Despite being very remote, these roads were in excellent condition. In New Zealand they would probably put in a two-lane gravel road, but using the passing bays was actually quite easy once you got the knack of it and traffic flowed well. We didn’t see any bad driving – people would give us a friendly wave or thumbs up as they passed.

The Scottish locals we met lived up to their reputation of being friendly. People along the way would happily stop and start up a conversation as they were walking past. One local told us about a nice beach nearby called Mellon Udrigle (don’t ask us to pronounce that!). We even went for a swim there – that’s right, an ocean swim in northern Scotland!

We were lucky to have great weather for our trip, with the exception of one day of rain. We went for plenty of short walks along the way. We found an excellent brochure by the Forestry Commission detailing dozens of walks throughout the Highlands. These spots were also great overnight camping spots, as they were off the main road, had picnic tables and allowed overnight parking.

The campervan has its own kitchen, table and chairs so we didn’t need to be near a town for the evening. It was fun seeking out a place to stay when we were ready to stop for the day. While we were planning to rough it for our five day trip and forego showers, we discovered a public toilet in Ullapool that amazingly had a free, clean and hot shower available. This is an exciting discovery for free campers!

We did have one incident while free camping… Having driven for ages down a dead end road, we decided on an isolated camping spot by a small creek. As we cooked dinner, we noticed more and more tiny bugs hanging around us. They were midges – bugs about the size of sandflies that are common throughout the Highlands. The smells from our cooking were attracting them by the hundreds – they began swarming all around us and landing on our faces constantly. It got so unbearable that we abandoned our last bit of cooking, grabbed the food we had and dived into the van for refuge. Unfortunately, the bugs had come with us and we were now trapped inside with them! The moon roof came to the rescue – we trapped most of them against the glass skylight and finally had some peace. It might sound lame to be worried about bugs, but trust us; it was so unpleasant that we didn’t leave the van for the rest of the night! After this we were careful to find camping spots away from the water.

It looked so peaceful…

On our last day we visited Stirling Castle, perhaps Scotland’s most important castle. The castle changed hands several times between the English and Scottish as they fought for the strategically important crossing over the River Forth. It was said that whoever controlled Stirling controlled Scotland.

The castle was particularly interesting as it has been added to over time whenever the ruling monarch felt they needed stronger defences. The upgrades reflect the changing war technologies of the time. For example, the inner walls and towers are designed for the age of catapults and trebuchets, with tall walls and round towers. The outer defences were designed for the age of cannon, with low, angled, earth-filled walls made to absorb cannonballs. Here are some photos of the castles we saw on our trip:

Stirling Castle

Ardvreck Castle

Eileen Donan Castle

In our usual way, we were a bit over-ambitious in how far we travelled in just four days. More than 700 miles! This made for a hilarious moment parked up in Edinburgh when we were trying to boil eggs, wash the last dishes and clean out the van – all in less than 20 minutes. However, we did manage to return the van and make it to our next bus on time. Taking a campervan through the Scottish Highlands was one of the coolest things we’ve done on this trip – we would have happily added another couple of days. The evil clowns had served us well, but we had to say goodbye and board our bus bound for Manchester.

Comments from WordPress

• Robbie Lane 2012-08-28T08:17:52Z

  Nice reading your latest travel … driving me more and more wanting to do some serious travelling again!!! Och aye the nu!!!! Happy travels

  Robbie

• Gary 2012-08-31T19:06:57Z

  hey guys I finally caught up with your UK roamings! great pics and nice commentary. You have been soooo blessed with the weather, especially in Scotland!
  Did you know they breed the midge to keep the English out?

• Craig and Sal 2012-09-09T12:33:58Z

  Nice to hear from you Gary. Maybe the midges are trained to enjoy Commonwealth blood too!

• The end. | Craig and Sal Go Global 2013-06-30T01:58:53Z

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Written by Craig Drayton and Sally Robertson